Teaching & Curriculum

This puppet's been sitting our supply closet forever. Ugly orange thing someone donated years ago. Always thought puppets were dumb. Last month I'm totally bombing this honesty lesson. Kids picking noses staring ceiling. One fell asleep. Grabbed that stupid orange puppet out of desperation. Made up

Had this lesson last month I thought was gonna be amazing. Spent forever planning it. Good story clear points everything organized perfect. Kids just sat there staring at me like I was speaking gibberish. Couple started picking at their shoes. One kid straight up asked if we were done yet.

So last week during worship time little Emma asks me why we have to sing the same songs every week. And honestly? I didn't have a great answer. That got me thinking. We talk about worship all the time but do kids actually get what it means? Like

So our church has like thirty kids total. On good days. Preschool through middle school. One room. Budget's basically nonexistent. Me and maybe two volunteers if planets align. Most curriculum assumes you got separate classes every age. Professional teachers. Money tree in back yard. Right. Wasted years trying

Sunday morning I'm feeling pretty smug about my David and Goliath lesson. Got slides. Got this perfect YouTube video. Everything's ready. Walk into class and the projector won't turn on. Just dead. Standing there looking stupid while Tyler asks if we're gonna

My kids know Noah's ark by heart. Also David and Goliath. Asked what they wanted to hear and one kid said "something where nobody dies and there's no animals." Okay then. Tell Stories Backwards Started with Jesus on cross and worked backwards to baby.

Used glitter once for a craft about God's glory. Worst decision ever. Still finding sparkles three months later in places glitter should never be. Found some in my sandwich last week. Never again. Memory Verse With Body Parts Kids remember stuff better when they're flailing around.

Mason ate glue last week. Not a little bit of glue. Like, a substantial amount of Elmer's glue while I was telling the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. And somehow he still remembers that Jesus shared food with everyone because when his mom packed him lunch yesterday

Sunday morning. 7:47 AM. I'm in the church parking lot googling "Jesus feeds 5000 craft ideas" on my phone. This was my life for two years. Every. Single. Sunday. I'd piece together random lessons from the internet. Print coloring pages that may or