Events & Activities

So pastor comes up to me in May and goes "We need to do more outreach this summer. You know, get out in the community." I'm like great what exactly does that mean and how much is this gonna cost because our budget's already

So committee meeting last month and Bob goes "We should totally do parent-child retreat this year!" I'm like are you out of your damn mind? You want me take families away from their houses for whole weekend where they can't escape when little Timmy

Church board looks at me and goes "We should host kids ministry conference this year." I'm sitting there thinking have you people lost your actual minds? We can barely keep our own kids from burning down building and you want me invite other churches watch our

So last year's Easter egg hunt was like watching civilization collapse in real time. Fifty kids running around like they'd escaped from somewhere. Big ones literally stepping on little ones. Parents losing their minds at me because Timmy only found three eggs while Susie got seven.

Pastor walks into budget meeting and drops bomb. "Kids ministry events budget getting cut by seventy percent." My stomach just falls through floor. Great now we can't do anything fun ever and kids gonna hate boring church while other places have bounce houses and catered everything.

So I'm standing in middle of our VBS disaster last summer and everything that could go wrong is going wrong. Craft supplies never got delivered. Sound system's making weird screeching noises. Three volunteers called in sick. Two kids are crying because they can't find

So I'm sitting in this planning meeting and someone goes "We should do game night for families!" Everyone's nodding like this is brilliant idea and I'm thinking oh great another event I gotta plan that nobody will come to. But then Sarah

So it's July and I'm already stressing about back-to-school stuff. Kids disappear for three months then suddenly they're all taller and forgot everyone's names and act like they've never been in our building before. Last year was disaster. Thought I&

Planning VBS last year all by myself. Spent weeks figuring themes decorations activities snacks everything. Get to planning meeting with volunteers and I'm like "So here's what we're doing this year" and start going through my whole presentation. Can see their eyes