Events & Activities

So committee meeting last month and someone goes "We should do family movie night! Families love watching movies together!" I'm sitting there thinking sure sounds simple enough. Show movie. People watch. How hard could it be? Turns out way harder than just pressing play and hoping

So I'm sitting in staff meeting and pastor goes "Kids need to learn about serving others. Let's plan service project for them." I'm nodding along thinking sounds great in theory until realize he's looking at me like I'm

So September hits and I'm already getting that sinking feeling because Halloween's coming and that means trunk-or-treat planning and I swear this event gonna kill me one year. Last year was complete disaster. Rain turned parking lot into mud pit. Half volunteers didn't show

November and I'm staring at calendar having mini panic attack because Christmas pageant is six weeks away and I got nothing. Actually that's lie. I got same tired Mary Joseph donkey wise men thing we been doing since church started. Kids rolling their eyes parents expecting

So pastor comes up to me in May and goes "We need to do more outreach this summer. You know, get out in the community." I'm like great what exactly does that mean and how much is this gonna cost because our budget's already

So committee meeting last month and Bob goes "We should totally do parent-child retreat this year!" I'm like are you out of your damn mind? You want me take families away from their houses for whole weekend where they can't escape when little Timmy

Church board looks at me and goes "We should host kids ministry conference this year." I'm sitting there thinking have you people lost your actual minds? We can barely keep our own kids from burning down building and you want me invite other churches watch our

So last year's Easter egg hunt was like watching civilization collapse in real time. Fifty kids running around like they'd escaped from somewhere. Big ones literally stepping on little ones. Parents losing their minds at me because Timmy only found three eggs while Susie got seven.

Pastor walks into budget meeting and drops bomb. "Kids ministry events budget getting cut by seventy percent." My stomach just falls through floor. Great now we can't do anything fun ever and kids gonna hate boring church while other places have bounce houses and catered everything.