Our fall festival last year was a complete disaster. Ran out of candy in like forty minutes, cotton candy machine exploded somehow, and two volunteers just vanished. Never figured out where they went. Maybe they're still hiding. This year trying not to repeat that nightmare. Start Planning When

Had to tell a volunteer last week that kids were scared of her because she yells when they spill things. That was fun. She cried and I felt like a monster but also those kids shouldn't be terrified of craft time. These conversations are the worst part of

Used glitter once for a craft about God's glory. Worst decision ever. Still finding sparkles three months later in places glitter should never be. Found some in my sandwich last week. Never again. Memory Verse With Body Parts Kids remember stuff better when they're flailing around.

Pinterest is a liar. Those beautiful Sunday school crafts with perfect edges and coordinated colors? They're made by robots. Or people with way more patience than me. Because when I try to recreate them with actual children, everything turns into a glue-covered nightmare. But somehow these kids keep

Easter's coming and I'm already stressed. Saw neighbor's Instagram with elaborate brunch table and hand-painted eggs that look like works of art. Meanwhile I can't remember if we still have plastic eggs from last year or if dog ate them. Kids keep

Getting volunteers for kids ministry is like asking people to donate a kidney. Everyone thinks kids are adorable until you ask them to spend an hour with twelve of them hopped up on animal crackers and fruit punch. Been trying to staff our children's program for years. It&

Mason ate glue last week. Not a little bit of glue. Like, a substantial amount of Elmer's glue while I was telling the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. And somehow he still remembers that Jesus shared food with everyone because when his mom packed him lunch yesterday

Oh my god you guys. I volunteered to help with Sunday school ONE TIME because they were desperate and now somehow I'm the person who shows up every week to wrangle a bunch of seven-year-olds who apparently consumed nothing but pixie sticks for breakfast. Last Sunday I walked

Okay so last Christmas I literally hid in my pantry eating cookie dough at 6pm because my "simple" holiday party had turned into some kind of nightmare where nothing worked and I was pretty sure my guests were going to show up to find me sobbing into a