So yesterday I'm in the Target craft aisle holding this bag of fake snow that costs like eighteen dollars for what looks like shredded napkins when this random mom taps my shoulder.
"You teach Sunday school, right?"
"Yeah."
"My kid only cares about getting stuff for Christmas. How do you make them care about Jesus instead?"
I'm standing there clutching overpriced plastic snow flakes thinking lady, if I had that figured out I'd be writing bestselling parenting books instead of stress-shopping at Target on Tuesday night.
Look, Christmas with kids is nuts. You go heavy on the Jesus stuff and they mentally check out to plan their toy requests. You make it fun and parents think you're just doing holiday crafts with zero God content.
Last year I'm trying to explain how God became human when Emma interrupts with "Wait, so Jesus had a belly button?"
Which is actually a fascinating theological question. Also completely killed my profound incarnation moment.
This year I'm basically winging it with whatever doesn't make kids look catatonic.
My Brilliant Gift Box Idea That Sucked
Thought I'd be genius wrapping random stuff to teach about God's gifts to us.
Wrapped heart-shaped throw pillow for "God's love." Wrapped play money for "God's provision." Wrapped stuffed sheep for "God's protection."
Kids way more interested in destroying wrapping paper than absorbing my deep spiritual metaphors.
"Can I have this?" asks Connor, squeezing the pillow.
"No, it's just for demonstration."
"Then why'd you wrap it up?"
That's... actually excellent logic, Connor. Why did I gift-wrap a pillow I was planning to confiscate five seconds later?
Kids spent entire lesson begging for the random household items instead of listening to my brilliant analogies about spiritual gifts.
Sometimes my great ideas are just stupid ideas wearing fancy clothes.
Nativity Play From Actual Hell
Figured we'd do Christmas pageant because every church does pageants and maybe ours would be magical or whatever.
It was not magical.
Tyler having complete meltdown because he wanted to be wise man but we only had three costumes and he was fourth to ask. Full-blown crisis about wise man distribution inequality.
Emma refusing Mary because "long dresses are itchy and dumb." Connor making his sheep puppet attack other animals during every rehearsal.
Performance day one wise man totally blanked and just stood there holding frankincense like a confused statue. Angel halo fell off and rolled under chairs during the big heavenly announcement.
Parents recorded everything like we'd just performed Hamilton. Posted videos everywhere acting like their kids were Tony Award material.
Turns out complete disasters create better memories than perfect performances anyway.
Following Star Epic Disaster
Decided to recreate wise men's journey using flashlight as star of Bethlehem.
"Follow this light like the wise men followed the star to baby Jesus," I said, moving flashlight slowly across ceiling.
Immediately turned into some kind of primal chase scene. Kids running everywhere trying to catch the light, body-slamming furniture, completely ignoring my meaningful narration about seeking Christ.
Had to abort mission when Marcus started climbing on tables trying to grab the "star" with both hands.
Note to future me: flashlights plus excited children equals chaos one hundred percent of the time.
Cookie Decorating That Actually Worked
Made sugar cookies shaped like Christmas stuff while telling the nativity story.
Kids actually paid attention while frosting angels and stars because their hands were busy and sugar was involved.
"Why'd God pick Mary to be Jesus's mom?" Tyler asks while drowning his angel cookie in yellow icing.
"Probably because she was brave enough to say yes when something scary happened," I said.
"Like when Mom said yes to our dog even though Dad said dogs are too much work and shed everywhere?"
Exactly like that situation, Tyler. Perfect comparison.
Stable Reality Bomb
Kids picture Jesus born in some Pinterest-perfect barn with fluffy clean hay and well-behaved farm animals.
Showed them photos of actual Middle Eastern stables. Dirty, smelly, nothing like Christmas card fantasies.
"This is probably what Jesus's birthplace really looked like," I explained.
Sophie raises her hand. "That's gross. Why didn't Mary just go to a hospital like normal people?"
Excellent question, Sophie. Led to conversation about God choosing ordinary, messy circumstances for extraordinary things.
Kids totally get that important stuff sometimes happens in not-so-great places.
Ornament Craft Explosion
Handed out clear plastic ornaments and dumped every single craft supply we owned onto tables.
"Fill these however you want."
Complete and total chaos. Glitter coating everything including my coffee, sequins ground into carpet forever, kids hoarding the metallic markers like precious gems.
While they crammed ornaments with random sparkly debris, I talked about each ornament being unique and special, like how God made each of them different and valuable.
Super duper cheesy? Obviously. But they hung those ornaments on family trees and remembered someone told them they were special.
Works for me.
Shepherd Field Trip Attempt
Took kids outside to lie in grass pretending to be shepherds watching sheep all night.
"Imagine angels suddenly appearing while you're just doing your regular boring job," I said.
Lasted approximately thirty seconds before someone discovered an interesting ant and everyone abandoned shepherding entirely.
But during those thirty seconds when they were actually looking at clouds, I described how shepherds probably felt when heaven exploded open above them.
"Scared but amazed," said Connor.
"Like seeing something incredible but also terrifying," added Emma.
Yeah. Probably exactly how those ancient shepherds felt.
One Candle in Total Darkness
Turned off every single light in the room and lit one tiny candle.
"Jesus came to bring light into the dark scary places in our lives," I explained.
Something about complete darkness made even the most hyperactive kids focus intensely on that one little flame.
We talked about dark times they'd experienced - nightmares, parents fighting, feeling left out at school - and how Jesus brings hope into those situations.
Simple concept. But they absolutely got it.
What Fails Miserably Every Time
Making Christmas too serious and theological. Kids are naturally hyped about December. Use that energy instead of fighting it.
Trying to compete with Santa Claus. You will lose badly every single time. Don't even try.
Using fancy seminary words like incarnation or redemption. Save big vocabulary for adults.
Forcing everything into craft projects. Sometimes just storytelling works perfectly fine.
Assuming kids understand what life was like two thousand years ago without major explanation.
Resources That Don't Completely Suck
Kids Sunday School Place has Christmas activities balancing excitement with actual meaning. Their stuff works with kids' natural holiday energy instead of against it.
Group's DIG IN includes hands-on Christmas experiences without creating total overwhelming chaos in your classroom.
Grow Curriculum connects ancient Christmas stories to kids' modern lives in ways that actually make sense today.
Gospel Project shows Christmas as part of God's bigger rescue story instead of isolated random Bible event.
But honestly, best Christmas lessons happen when you stop overthinking everything and just tell the amazing story of God becoming human to save us.
What I Think I Maybe Know
Kids can handle the real Christmas story without watered-down kiddie versions.
Hands-on activities work better than lectures every single time, especially when kids are sugar-high from holiday excitement.
Imperfect messy performances create way better memories than polished perfect presentations.
Work with their gift excitement instead of trying to eliminate it completely.
Focus on wonder and amazement. Christmas is naturally mind-blowing - lean hard into that.
Why Christmas Actually Matters to Kids
Christmas teaches that God loves people enough to become one of us. That's pretty incredible when you really think about it.
Kids understand important people choosing to spend time with regular folks. They get excited when celebrities are nice to children.
Jesus choosing to be born as helpless baby in disgusting stable demonstrates God's love in ways kids can actually understand and relate to.
Whether they remember specific lessons or not, they'll remember feeling amazed by the Christmas story.
Still don't have perfect answer for that Target mom about keeping Christmas focused on Jesus instead of presents and stuff.
But maybe it starts with showing kids that the real Christmas story is way more exciting than anything they'll unwrap on December 25th.
