Preteens are impossible. Like actually impossible. Last week one asked me why Moses didn't just use GPS to find his way out of the desert and I had no answer.
They think everything adults do is stupid and they're probably right half the time.
Talking Doesn't Work
I can talk for maybe twenty seconds before their eyes glaze over. Used to think I was the problem but then I watched them do this to their own parents.
Started asking random questions instead of explaining stuff. "What do you think David was thinking when he saw Goliath?" Then I just wait forever until someone says something.
Kid said David probably thought "Why is this dude so tall" and honestly that's probably accurate.
Sometimes I ask questions just to keep them breathing.
Everything Is The End of The World
Girl cried last week because her friend read her text but didn't respond for three hours. Everything feels like life or death.
Teaching about Moses feeling like an outsider. Asked who else felt different. Every single hand shot up because they all think they're the only weird person on earth.
Their problems seem ridiculous but they're real to them.
Use whatever drama they have. It's all they think about anyway.
They Physically Cannot Sit Still
Tried making them sit in chairs once. Big mistake. By the end one kid was bouncing so hard the whole row was shaking.
Now I let them move around however they want. Sit on floor, pace, whatever keeps them from vibrating apart.
Did David and Goliath and the kid playing Goliath got so excited he ran into the wall. Everyone lost it laughing but they remembered the story.
Moving helps their brains work somehow. Don't ask me why.
Give Them Fake Control
They control nothing in their lives. Parents boss them around, teachers boss them around, their own bodies are betraying them.
Ask stupid little things like "circle or groups?" and they act like you handed them the keys to the universe.
Let them vote on stories. They actually listen when they picked it.
Can't let them choose anything real obviously but tiny choices make them feel human.
Phones Are Part of Their Bodies
Used to fight it. Now I just roll with it. Let them look stuff up. Use Bible apps. Whatever.
Don't just give them screens though. That's not teaching that's babysitting.
Had them make TikTok videos about parables. They worked harder on those than actual homework. Still don't understand why.
Make It About Today
They think anything before YouTube is prehistoric. Have to connect Bible stuff to their current disasters.
Daniel facing pressure - what pressure do you deal with? Jesus picking friends - how do you know who's real?
If it's not about their life right now they don't care at all.
Told them Jesus probably had awkward teenage moments. Mind blown. Never thought about Jesus going through puberty and voice cracks.
Let Them Question God
They question everything anyway. Don't shut it down when they question faith stuff.
"Why do bad things happen?" "If God loves everyone why is there suffering?" Real questions keeping them awake.
Don't give Sunday school answers. They smell fake immediately.
Kid asked why God seems angry in Old Testament but nice in New Testament. Talked about that for weeks. Better than most adult Bible studies I've been to.
Small Groups Save Everyone
Won't talk in big groups because middle school politics are vicious. Break them up.
They'll say stuff in groups of three they'd never say in front of everyone.
Helps quiet kids who have thoughts but would rather die than speak up.
Have to mix groups though or cliques form and someone gets excluded and then there's bathroom crying.
Be Real or Die
They detect fake instantly. It's like a superpower they all have.
Tell them about times you screwed up. Admit when you don't know stuff. They respect honesty over perfection always.
Told them about time I was too scared to defend someone getting bullied. Connected to Daniel being brave. They actually paid attention.
Don't try to be their friend but don't treat them like babies.
Competition Is Scary
Some love it others want to disappear into the floor. Know your group first.
Team stuff better than individual. Nobody wants to be obviously worst in front of peers.
Bible trivia where teams picked difficulty levels. Everyone felt included instead of stupid.
Give Real Jobs Not Fake Ones
They want to feel important. Give actual responsibility not busy work they see through.
Let them help younger kids. Lead parts of lessons. Made one kid tech person because he knew our system better than me.
They absolutely know difference between real jobs and keeping them occupied.
Random Stuff That Happens
Some days nothing works and I have no idea why. They're moody for reasons I'll never understand.
They act bored but then mention something weeks later that stuck.
This age is weird because they're not kids anymore but not teenagers yet either.
Had kid tell me months later that something we talked about helped him through hard time. Never know what's getting through.
Girl asked me if God gets tired of middle school drama. Told her God cares about everything we care about.
They remember weirdest details. Kid still talks about how David probably smelled like sheep.
Sometimes they ask deep questions that make me think harder about my own faith.
Other times they ask if Noah had to clean animal poop and I remember they're still kids.
It's confusing for them and for me trying to figure out how to teach them.
Why It's Impossible
They're dealing with bodies changing, friend drama, school pressure, trying to figure out who they are while everything feels wrong.
Their problems feel huge because they are huge to them.
Your lessons compete with all that chaos in their heads and usually lose.
Why I Don't Quit
When they actually engage it's incredible. They ask questions adults would never think of.
They're forming beliefs about everything right now. What we teach actually matters for their future.
Some days I want to give up. Other days one says something that reminds me why this is important.
Had girl tell me she didn't think God cared about middle school problems. We talked about how Jesus cared about everyday ordinary stuff too.
No Idea What I'm Doing
Ask what they want to learn. Might surprise you how deep their questions are.
Plan discussions not lectures. They learn by talking through stuff.
Make it safe to ask hard questions even ones that challenge everything.
Connect ancient stories to their current crises.
Be patient because some lessons take years to make sense.
Truth About This Age
Preteens are exhausting but also amazing when you catch them in the right moment.
They're trying to figure everything out while their world constantly changes.
Meet them in their mess not where you think they should be.
They need adults who take their questions seriously and don't dismiss their problems as just phases.
Some won't seem interested but will remember when life gets really hard later.
Most important thing is showing them God understands what they're going through and actually cares about their weird awkward confusing lives.
They think adults don't get their world. Sometimes we don't.
They care more about peer opinions than adult opinions but still need adults who believe in them.
Everything feels awkward because everything is awkward at this age.
When something finally clicks and they get it it's worth all the frustration and confusion.
They're worth the effort even when you have no clue what you're doing.
