Kid asked if his grandma watches him from heaven. Then goes "Does she watch me pee though?"
Six-year-olds man.
They Just Ask
You're middle of something else and hand goes up.
Doing Noah's ark last month. Sarah raises hand. "Is Noah dead?"
Yeah died long time ago.
"Where's his body?"
Don't know Sarah.
"Can we visit it?"
We're building ark out graham crackers right now can we table this.
Kids don't care about lesson plan. Think of something and ask immediately.
Had one kid ask during snack. Just eating goldfish crackers goes "What happens when you die?" Other kids stopped chewing. Stared at me waiting.
Great timing.
Stuff Don't Say Anymore
"Passed away" made kid think his uncle went on trip somewhere.
Said "went to sleep" once and kid refused go bed for week. His mom called me mad. Honestly fair. That was stupid of me.
Sleep happens every night. Don't make kids think sleeping equals dying. Terrible idea.
"Lost someone" sounds like you're bad at keeping track people. Like left them at grocery store.
Dead Bugs Work
Kids seen dead bugs. Dead birds. Start there.
"That butterfly we found wasn't moving? Died. Body stopped working. Same thing happens people."
They get it. Things stop working sometimes.
Emma asked why can't fix people like when dad fixes car. Good question. Told her bodies different than cars. She said okay went back to coloring.
That was it. Moved on.
Nobody Knows Everything
What's heaven look like. Is there pizza. Do you sleep there or awake all time. Can you fly.
No idea.
Just tell them don't know. "That's good question. Not sure. Here's what I think though."
They're fine with that.
Jacob asked if dogs go heaven. Said hope so. He said okay. Done.
Didn't need whole explanation about animal souls or whatever. Just hope dogs there. Good enough.
Heaven Simple Version
Heaven where God is. People who love God go there. It's good and happy. Nothing hurts there.
That's what tell little kids.
Some want more details. Fine. Better than best day you ever had. Prettier than prettiest place you been. More fun than your favorite thing.
Then ask if there's Legos in heaven. Or if have do chores. Or if babies stay babies forever.
Usually just say heaven has good stuff so probably.
Kid asked if mean people go heaven. Then what happens people who aren't there.
Really wanted someone interrupt right then. Nobody did.
When Someone Actually Dies
Real death different than talking about it theoretical.
Their grandma dies. Their dog. Someone real.
Let them feel sad.
"That's really sad. I'm sad about it too. Okay to cry."
Adults try acting positive so kids think they should too. But they're not positive. They're sad. Let them be sad.
Cry if want. Get mad if want. Ask same question hundred times if want.
Sarah asked me all morning if her grandma coming back. Over and over. "Is she really not coming back? She's not coming back? So she's never coming back?"
Not because didn't get it. Because was trying make it real in her head.
Things Sort of Help
Drawing pictures memories works sometimes. "Draw something remember doing with grandpa."
They draw fishing or making cookies or watching TV. Then tell you about it.
Shows them love doesn't stop just because someone's gone.
Did weird thing once where kids made letters heaven. Can't actually send them but whatever. Helped them feel doing something.
One kid drew map his house. Said so grandma could find him if forgot. Another kid wrote down all their jokes together so uncle wouldn't forget them.
Were so serious about it. Took it way more serious than thought they would.
Books sometimes help. Give them words don't have yet.
Also talk more during activities. Something about having hands busy makes feelings easier.
Questions About Sadness
Kids worry dead people sad in heaven. That miss us down here. That wish could come back.
Tell them heaven makes people so happy don't feel sad anymore. They're with God and everything's good. But still remember us and love us.
Kids also get scared about forgetting. Tell them normal forget things. Doesn't mean love someone less.
Had kid cry because couldn't remember her grandma's voice. Told her happens everyone. Voice hard remember. But remembered other stuff like hugs and snickerdoodles her grandma always made.
She stopped crying after that.
Every Kid Different
Some kids ask questions nonstop. Others don't want talk at all.
Both fine.
Don't force kids share. Just tell them available if want to later.
Some kids play death stuff with toys. Looks dark but actually healthy. Making scary thing less scary by playing it out safe.
Had Emma build graveyard with popsicle sticks during craft once. Spent whole time on it. Little weird but was processing something.
Other kids act totally fine. Maybe are fine. Maybe not. Hard tell with young kids sometimes.
Jesus Part Without Being Pushy
Obviously want them know about Jesus and hope and resurrection.
But don't weaponize death scare kids into believing. That's messed up.
Do talk about God loving them. Heaven being real. Jesus making death not the end.
Keep simple. They're five. Don't need Romans Road right now.
Need know God's got it. Scary things don't win.
Curriculum Stuff
Some handles death and heaven better.
Kids Sunday School Place keeps age appropriate. Gospel Project includes as part story without being weird about it.
Grow Curriculum actually deals with hard topics instead skipping them but makes work for kids. Comes with parent resources too which matters because kids don't stop asking when leave church. Group's DIG IN has activities let kids explore through play.
Use whatever but make sure kids can ask questions. And don't act like death isn't sad. Even with heaven it's still loss.
Warn Parents
Tell parents when going talk about death. Some families believe different things.
Some kids dealing with recent death. Parents want heads up so can follow up at home.
Had parent thank me once. Said their kid asked me questions was too nervous ask them. Sometimes kids test questions other adults first.
Other parents mad brought it up at all. Can't make everyone happy.
What Know Now
Every kid teaches me something when ask about death.
Their questions make me actually think about what believe.
They're less scared than adults. Accept death faster as part life.
But need know people won't just keep disappearing. That not dying anytime soon. That sad okay to feel.
Mostly need know God's in control. Heaven's real. Love doesn't stop.
That's enough right now. More later when older.
Be honest. Keep simple. Listen.
Have snacks ready. This stuff exhausting.
