So Ethan walks up to me last summer. Middle of VBS. Day three. We're doing pirates.
"Ms. Jennifer, didn't we do pirates when I was little?"
Yes, Ethan. Yes we did. When you were in kindergarten. And first grade. And apparently now in fourth grade because I panic-ordered in March and we already had pirate stuff in the basement.
Never. Again.
Started looking in January this year. Actually January. Put it in my phone calendar and everything. Found some themes that don't make me want to fake sick during VBS week.
Medieval Knights and Collecting Stuff (Concordia's Keepers of the Kingdom)
Kids become knights. They get actual armor pieces each day. Not like paper badges that fall off. Real stuff they can hold. Shields, helmets, the whole deal.
Tommy wore his full armor to church the next Sunday. His mom was mortified. I thought it was awesome. That's a kid who remembered VBS.
The sword fights though. Pool noodles everywhere. We had to make a "no hitting above the shoulders" rule after day one. Then a "no hitting at all" rule after day two. By day three we just let them wave the pool noodles around during the songs. Whatever works.
Group always connects everything. Like, the snack teaches the lesson. The game reinforces the Bible point. Even the bathroom breaks probably have a purpose. It's almost annoying how organized it is. But also... it works. I don't have to figure out how to make goldfish crackers relate to the armor of God. They already did it.
The Free One That's Actually Good (Grow's Step Right Up VBS)
Circus carnival theme. Think cotton candy, celebration, kids having the time of their lives while learning about God. That kind of party atmosphere.
Downloaded this in January thinking I'd just see what free gets you. Everything's there. Like, actually everything. Videos. Graphics that don't look like clip art from 2003. Games that make sense. Volunteer training that actually trains volunteers.
It's free. Completely free. I checked four times.
My budget last year for VBS was basically "whatever's in the supply closet plus $200 for snacks." This year I can use that $200 for actual food. Maybe even juice that isn't just water with food coloring.
Sarah, my craft lady, looked at the craft instructions and goes "I can actually do these." That's when I knew we had a winner. Sarah's the one who tells me when craft ideas are "Pinterest lies." These passed the Sarah test.
We're doing it this summer. Already told the volunteers. They're excited about a theme that comes with actual support instead of me frantically googling "circus games for kids" at 11 PM.
Beach Without the Sand Mess (Lifeway's Breaker Rock Beach)
Beach theme inland sounds weird. We're three hours from any actual beach. But whatever, kids don't care. They just want to wear sunglasses indoors.
The breaking barriers thing though - that got me. Marcus last year? Kid didn't talk for three days straight. Just stood there. Grandma said he was shy. But what if we'd had a whole theme about breaking down walls? Maybe he would have opened up sooner.
My daughter heard the music samples while I was researching. Now she knows every word. She made me play it in the car this morning. My teenager actually said "this doesn't suck." High praise from a 14-year-old.
They have different plans for different size churches which... finally. Someone gets it. I have 23 kids on a good day. Not 200. Stop making me adapt your mega-church games for my little classroom. This one just tells you "here's what to do with 20 kids." Beautiful.
Space and Hard Questions (Answers in Genesis Stellar)
Glow in the dark everything. Black lights. Stars. The decoration team is already freaking out about how cool this will look.
But here's the real thing - they tackle the questions kids actually ask. Not just "Jesus loves you" but "How do I know God's real?" That's the stuff my third graders ask me while I'm trying to hot glue felt figures to a board.
Last year Emma asked me why her grandpa had to die if God loves her. During craft time. While holding safety scissors and looking me dead in the eye. I fumbled through some answer about heaven. This curriculum actually has thoughtful responses for stuff like that. Age appropriate ones. That don't make kids more confused.
Space theme means lots of aluminum foil. Fair warning. You'll find it everywhere. In your car. In your hair. In places aluminum foil should not be. But kids remember the sparkly stuff.
Science That Actually Works (Concordia's Time Lab)
My nephew Ben would flip over this. He's eight and asks "why" about everything. EVERYTHING. Why is the sky blue, why do we pray, why can't I have cookies for breakfast. This theme is basically made for the Bens of the world.
Remember that time I tried to do a science demo for the kids? "Faith moves mountains" with baking soda? Nothing happened. Just white powder sitting there. Twenty kindergarteners staring. "Ms. Jennifer, when does the mountain move?"
Still have nightmares.
But Time Lab tested all their experiments. With actual kids. They tell you exactly how much of everything. Not "add vinegar until it works" but "2 tablespoons." Because they know some of us failed chemistry. Twice. Not that I'm speaking from experience.
The time travel thing helps explain how Jesus is the same forever. Which is surprisingly hard to explain to kids who think last week was "a long time ago." But when you're doing the same experiment and getting the same result every time... they start to get it.
Look, Here's the Thing
Any of these could work. The best VBS is the one where kids show up and hear about Jesus. Where volunteers don't quit halfway through. Where somebody learns something.
But please. Please don't do the same theme three times. Ethan will remember. They always remember.
Start now. Order your stuff. Get your volunteers lined up. Buy twice as many goldfish crackers as you think you need. Three times if you're doing water games outside.
That free one from Grow? Still can't believe it's free. Already told my pastor we're using the leftover budget for real pizza instead of those weird rectangle cafeteria ones.
VBS is exhausting. You'll find glitter in December. You'll hear those songs in your dreams. Some kid will definitely spill something on something important.
But then August comes and some mom emails you. Her kid shared his lunch with the new kid because "that's what we learned at VBS." And suddenly the glitter in your hair doesn't matter.
Pick a theme. Any theme. Just not pirates again. Please.
