Cleaning out my phone yesterday and found this text from Jennifer. She used to help with 2nd 3rd graders couple years back.
"Hey I don't think I can keep doing this anymore. Just not working out."
That was it. Gone.
Back then I'm like whatever. People leave. That's volunteers for you.
But now looking at that text thinking Jennifer didn't just randomly decide she was done. I screwed up somewhere. Probably multiple places. Instead trying figure out what went wrong I just found someone else take her spot and moved on.
Been thinking about all the people I've lost. Not ones who moved or had babies or whatever. Life happens. But ones who just stopped showing up. Quit out of nowhere. Faded away.
Most of them probably left because I kept doing same stupid stuff over and over. Stuff I didn't even know was wrong because nobody ever taught me how not mess up with volunteers.
Had to learn by watching good people walk away. Wish someone told me this years ago.
Treating Them Like Employees When They're Not
Probably biggest disaster with Jennifer and bunch others.
I'd give assignments like they were getting paid. "Need you here 9:15 sharp. You're craft setup. Everything ready before kids arrive."
Then get frustrated when someone's few minutes late or forgets something or doesn't do exactly what I wanted.
But they're not employees. Not getting paid. Chose give up Sunday morning help with kids. Don't owe me perfection.
Really hit when Mark said felt like always getting in trouble for little stuff. Like time I got annoyed he forgot put chairs away.
Made me think how I was talking to these people. Treating them partners or staff who weren't measuring up?
Now try remember volunteers doing me favor not other way around. Changes everything.
Not Telling People What Actually Need
Might sound like contradicts what just said but hear me out.
Can't boss volunteers around but still gotta be clear what you need. Otherwise everyone's confused frustrated.
Used tell new people "just help with kids" figured they'd watch and pick it up. Terrible.
Had volunteer spent whole morning standing around because no idea what supposed do. Too embarrassed ask. Never came back.
Another one took over lesson thought that's what I wanted. Kids confused I'm annoyed she felt awful.
Now way more specific. "Need you help kids craft. Here's what making. Supplies here. Someone needs bathroom come get me."
Clear expectations aren't same as unrealistic demands. People want know how be helpful.
Only Talking When Need Something
Huge with Jennifer. Went through our texts literally just me asking cover someone or schedule reminders.
Never texted say thanks for something. Share funny kid story. Ask how her week going.
She was contact in phone for emergency coverage. No wonder felt disconnected.
Started actually communicating with volunteers like people I care about not just resources.
Random encouragement texts. Funny stories from class. Ask about families. Follow up stuff they mentioned.
Sarah told me keeps my texts because make her feel noticed. Hit hard thinking about volunteers I never connected with.
Throwing Them In Without Preparation
New volunteers show up I'd throw them whatever needed body. Sink or swim.
Some figured out. Others struggled felt like failures.
Had volunteer terrified craft time never worked with kids. Instead helping feel prepared I said "you'll be fine" walked away.
She spent whole time stressed trying not mess up. Kids picked up anxiety. Nobody had fun.
Now actually prepare people. Show where supplies are. Introduce kids. Stay close first few weeks.
Takes more time prevents so much frustration.
Taking Best People for Granted
Might be worst mistake. Reliable volunteers good with kids just assumed they'd always be there.
Never thanked specifically. Never asked what needed. Never checked if burned out.
Just kept piling responsibilities because were capable willing.
Jennifer was one those. So good so dependable started counting on her everything. Extra stuff when others couldn't handle. Covering sick calls. Planning activities.
Never asked if too much or needed support.
Looking back probably overwhelmed unappreciated months before quit.
Now pay extra attention best volunteers. Can't afford lose them so need take best care.
Check in regularly. Thank for specific things. Protect from burnout even when won't protect themselves.
What Wish Someone Told Me
Volunteers don't leave because work too hard. Leave when feel used not appreciated.
Don't leave because too busy. Leave when confused about expectations not equipped be helpful.
Don't leave because don't care kids. Leave when feel like warm body not valued team member.
Don't leave because ministry demanding. Leave when thrown situations not prepared for.
Most time volunteer quits suddenly not about schedule life changes. About relationship. How felt working with you whether thought you cared about them person.
Different People Different Needs
Some need direction. Others need freedom. Some love challenges. Others want simple consistent role.
Mistake treating everyone same instead paying attention what each person needs.
Had volunteer loved new challenges. Kept giving same tasks because that's what signed up for. Got bored left.
Had another wanted simple role. Kept asking try different things thought needed variety. Got overwhelmed quit.
Try figure out what motivates each person what they need feel successful.
Ones Who Stayed
People been with me years what's different?
Not most talented or available. Ones felt valued connected equipped.
Ones took time know as people. Communicated with regularly. Prepared well their roles.
Ones protected burnout thanked specifically gave right level challenge.
Basically ones didn't make mistakes with.
Still Learning
Don't have figured out. Still mess up sometimes. Still lose people occasionally.
But when someone leaves try understand what went wrong instead just finding replacement.
Sometimes really life stuff. But sometimes something I did didn't do made feel undervalued overwhelmed unprepared.
Learning recognize helped keep way more people way longer. Made whole thing better everyone including me.
What Tell Jennifer Now
Could go back talk Jennifer before quit I'd apologize taking for granted. Never communicating like person cared about. Not preparing better checking if needed anything.
Ask what would help feel valued equipped connected. Actually listen do something about it.
Might not changed mind but least would know saw her more than position fill.
Now try have conversations before people ready walk away. Better early than late.
What Actually Costs
Lose good volunteer not just finding replacement. Lose relationships built with kids. Knowledge about how ministry works. Time invested training.
Other volunteers notice when people keep leaving. Start wondering what's wrong whether should stick around.
Kids notice too. Get attached then adults disappear without explanation.
Managing volunteers well not just being nice. Building sustainable thing actually serves kids instead constantly cycling through people don't stick around make impact.
Worth learning do right even takes more time energy.
